... I am a lost soul who can't seem to find solid ground...I am pulled in different directions, yet there is no one there to pull me...human instinct takes over... the need for another person to be close to... the need to eat and drink... the cautionary knot in my stomach that keeps me safe... but it's just a shell... inside I'm fighting to pay attention... I try to listen and nod or laugh at all the right times... and I seemed to have perfected it pretty well... so well that maybe I start to believe it... but as the laughter fades away I feel the smile slide off of my face... nothing feels right anymore... I feel like I could be so happy... and for some reason I'm not... I should be happy yet another instinct takes over... I'm keeping myself safe from every one...I close myself off to the point where it hurts more than helps... I walk alone even though I'm surrounded in a crowded room I push until everyone leaves me alone... it infuriates me, but I do it regardless... It's like an addiction, not wanting to get hurt... I can't help something that I hardly notice... I do I need some one to come and rescue me from this hell I've created... the walls are too tall to break down or climb... I need a hand to reach out to me... some one I don't know, will I ever be free from my own prison?
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