We'll Be Together, Again!

For some reason, when people mention that we all die eventually,

I don't feel as though it applies to the ones I love, and myself.

I feel as though we are infinite,

always alive and lungs breathing and heart beating;

simple because our love would be enough to keep us here.

In reality, I could die any minute now. You could die any minute now.

I've had only a handful of experiences with death in my life.

I feel as though death is a bit like the moon, the stars;

they are all so distant and unimaginable.

But, they are there, always there.

"I am a little shell containing tiny fragments of thoughts and ideas and emotions and love,
and one day the tide will be high and a wave will shatter me into a million inconceivably tiny pieces and bring me back to the earth, back home."

In reality, love does not keep us here, on Earth.

It keeps us together, I know, I believe it keeps us always together.

Love is not limited to one world, one universe; it is immeasurable,

unexplainable, like the smell before rain, the taste of one's kisses,

the way you feel when you hold someone's hand.

Love and death are not opposites; they are more or less constants throughout our lives.

There will always be death, and there will always be love.

We will always be together, you know.

I promise you this, with all of my heart.

I'd find you, wherever we go after this.

(whether it be on top of the clouds,

at the bottom of the ocean,

a different galaxy, a different star.)

I'd hold your hand, again.

We'll be together, again.

Move Forward

I let the darkness take over me...

it surrounds my body in a layer...

of comfort and fear...

and here in this place im content...

not think about the past...

or the future just here now...

falling alseep has become a challenge...

an when achieved waking up is harder...

but all i can do is take a deep breath...

inhale the morning sent get up...

get dressed and move forward

A dream it seems I'm living or rather a nightmare...

... I am a lost soul who can't seem to find solid ground...I am pulled in different directions, yet there is no one there to pull me...human instinct takes over... the need for another person to be close to... the need to eat and drink... the cautionary knot in my stomach that keeps me safe... but it's just a shell... inside I'm fighting to pay attention... I try to listen and nod or laugh at all the right times... and I seemed to have perfected it pretty well... so well that maybe I start to believe it... but as the laughter fades away I feel the smile slide off of my face... nothing feels right anymore... I feel like I could be so happy... and for some reason I'm not... I should be happy yet another instinct takes over... I'm keeping myself safe from every one...I close myself off to the point where it hurts more than helps... I walk alone even though I'm surrounded in a crowded room I push until everyone leaves me alone... it infuriates me, but I do it regardless... It's like an addiction, not wanting to get hurt... I can't help something that I hardly notice... I do I need some one to come and rescue me from this hell I've created... the walls are too tall to break down or climb... I need a hand to reach out to me... some one I don't know, will I ever be free from my own prison?

To Let Go!!

Sometimes the hardest part of letting go is not what you are giving up at the moment but what has already been gone for a long time...the sadness comes because you are just now realizing you were only holding onto a memory of what once was.

Letting go takes the courage to make a needed change even though you know it's going to hurt like hell.

To “let go” means not to worry about the future, but look forward to what might happen

To “let go” does not mean to stop caring, it means I can’t do it for someone else.

To “let go” is not to cut myself off, it’s the realization I can’t control another.

To “let go” is not to enable, but to allow learning from natural consequences.

To “let go” is to admit powerlessness, which means the outcome is not in my hands.

To “let go” is not to try to change or blame another, it’s to make the most of myself.

To “let go” is not to care for, but to care about.

To “let go” is not to fix, but to be supportive.

To “let go” is not to judge, but to allow another to be a human being.

To “let go” is not to be in the middle arranging the outcomes, but to allow others to affect their own destinies.

To “let go” is not to be protective, it’s to permit another to face reality.

To “let go” is not to deny, but to accept.

To “let go” it not to intrude, worry or argue, but instead to search out my own shortcomings, and correct them.

To “let go” is not to regret the past, but to grow and live for the future.

To “let go” is to fear less, and love more.

Goodbye To You!!

I Was Walking On Our Street Last Night, Just Gazing At The Stars, Wanting Space To Think, Wanting Questions Answered, Wanting Some Spark Of Clarity Even For Just One Moment. As The Time Passed Me By, After Hours Of Just Staring To The Sky, I've Come To Realize Things. Sometimes People Just Don't Care. Its Not Like They're Bad People, They Just Don't Think Of You. You're Just Not Special To Them Like You Used To Be And It's Not Their Fault That They Just Don't Care. No Matter How Much You Want Them To Be Affected They Just Wont. No Matter How Much You Try To Make Them Understand Their Fault They Just Wont. It's The Harsh Reality We All Have To Deal With Eventually. Good Friends Turn To Enemies. One Takes The Other For Granted, The Other Just Lets Them. I've Learned That No Amount Of Friendship You Give To A Person Who Never Knows What They Want And Need Will Ever Make Them Better People. They Leave You The Instant Your Life Gets Complicated, They Leave You Because You're Complicated. A Friendship With Them Is Just Injurious. You Offer Unconditional Love, Friendship Never Ending, Forgive Again And Again, Look Like A Fool, Let Your Feelings Die To Save That Friendship, But It Wasn't Enough. I've Come To Realize That Some People Are Just Like That. There Is Nothing You Can Do About It. Holding On And Hoping That They'll Change Won't Do You Any Good. Letting Go Isn't About Not Caring Anymore. You Still Really Care So Much That You Leave, You Still Care So Much That You Want This Person To Learn And Grow Up. You Pray Everyday For Them And It Doesn't Matter Anymore That They Don't Care, Because You Know You'll Be Okay, Because Your Still Here, Because Something Better Is Waiting For You. Your Still Trying To Convince Yourself To Truly Believe In All These, But In Trying To Convince Yourself You Eventually Believe In Yourself And Finally Move On.