These Thoughts Still Dwell In My Mind. The "What-If's" Riddle Me Constantly. What If I Just Played Cool And Just Kept It All To Myself, What If I Just Kept My Mouth Shut And Let Things Be, What If I Was More Patient, What If I Needed Less And Gave More Of Me Even If There's Never Enough Of Me To Give, What If, What If, What If. So Many Regrets, So Many Situations I Wish I Could Change. So Many Things I Want To Let Go Of, So Many Questions Unanswered. I Really Still Believe That In Life There Are No Mistakes, Just Lessons Learned. I Think God's Saying That There's Still Something I Have To Learn.
I Feel Like My Heart Just Keeps On Getting Stepped On By The Same Kind Of People Who Never Gave Thought Of My Heart. The Same Kind Of People Just Hurting You And Wanting You To See You Hurt. I Hear My Heart Breaking A Little More Each Time. My Heart Used To Be So Well Guarded And It Only Took One Person To Break That Wall And Totally Crush It. One Person Who Pretends To Not Realize It And Just Ignore The Fact That You Were Once Friends. You Know These Kind Of People Exist And You Know Some People Are Like That And That's Just The Way It Is.
The Past Just Haunts Me Endlessly, Like A Nightmare I Can't Wake Up From. The Words Just Replay In My Head. Actions Appear Like It Just Happened Again And Again. Am I Crazy That I Can't Just Let Go? That I Still care? I Feel So Stupid To Ever Let My Guard Down. Not Only When It Comes To Love, But Everything. I Let My Emotions Control Me In My Academics, In My Family, In My Faith, In Everything. I Don't Think I Was Selfish, I Don't Think I Did Anything Wrong And Maybe That's What Was Missing. Maybe I Was Thinking Too Much Of How To Please Everyone That I Forgot About Me And My GOD. I Didn't Think Of Me, I Didn't Think Of My Heart, I Didn't Think That The Only One I Should Aim To Please Is GOD. I Allowed My Heart To Break, I Allowed It To Scar. My Fear Now Is That My Heart's Too Broken For Anyone To Love. Nobody Likes Broken Things. Forgiving One's Self Is Giving Up The Hope That The Past Could Have Been Different. So I Guess I Still Haven't Forgiven Myself At All. That's Probably The Reason I Can't Commit To Anyone, That's Probably The Reason I Let A Really Amazing Person Down And Probably The Reason Why I Can't Let Go Of Someone Not Worth Holding On To.
